"I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it’s hard to stay mad when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst, and then i remember to relax and to stop trying to hold onto it, and it flows through me like rain, and i can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life."
American Beauty, dir. Sam Mendez (1999)
“…at our wedding, Kurt wore green pajamas because he was too lazy.” -Courtney Love
Chinese doctors bowing down to a 11 year old boy diagnosed with brain cancer who managed to save several lives by donating his organs to the hospital he was being treated in shortly before his death.
Once upon a time my roommate Liz met these bros on tindr and they ended up living with us for a few months and when I communicate with them I actually miss them a lot even though they were racists and skinned catfish on our stoop but like at one point they were a huge part of my life and knew everything going on and even read my poetry ????????? Life is so weird man
I’ve been a writer all my life, and a visual artist, too. When I was in private practice, I used creative tools with my psychotherapy clients, drawing from Jungian traditions, from global mythology, from creative arts of all kinds. From sand-tray to self-inquiry, my territory was the creative inner world.
And then my love drowned in front of me on an otherwise ordinary day.
Tell me, what use is it to rearrange mythic figures on a board when life has exploded that way? Where is the relevance of self-inquiry in the face of such reeling pain? A paintbrush is not going to solve anything.
There’s a deep cultural presumption that creating something out of grief somehow makes it all even out in the end. That your deepest call is to transform your grief into a work of art that touches others. That when you do that, when you turn to creative expression in the depths of pain, you are, in fact, healing your grief. Creativity is a way to transform pain. The results of your creativity, if they’re good enough, can help others transform their pain. It all works out.
But the truth is, there is no fair trade.
The truth is, pain, like love, needs expression. Some of us use words. Some paint. Some build, some invent, some serve. We are story-telling creatures.
Creative expression is part of me. It’s part of you. It’s in all of us.
That you make something beautiful and useful out of your pain, whether for yourself or others, is a wonderful thing. It’s a healing thing. But it’s not a prescription, and it won’t fix anything.
But the truth is, there is no fair trade.” —
(HT Cheryl Strayed)